Cartoon

Trial

Hark, abandon the roads!

When god closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.

No more than a week ago, I realised the very essence of that adage, when I embarked upon the longest and greatest journey I had ever made alone. When I say greatest, I mean that I was behind the wheel!

The source was my humble home and the destination, a land far-far away. Well, 30 km in the least. The road was smooth (except for the occasional potholes), the streets were unknown to me (except for the familiar 20 of 30 km stretch) and empty (barring Pragati Madan where all of New Delhi had decided to land up, having developed a sudden interest in Automobiles that came with a 3-day expiry, courtesy Auto-Expo).

Ergo, I reached safely and the car unhurt (well, at least for the first 20 km). The last 10 km shall be the most memorable 10 km in my life (well, except for the 10 km I drove on the highway on my way to Nainital on a flat tyre that achieved its state when I drove it off the.. changing the tyre was fun, whatever part I contributed to its doing).

It so happened that after a long and comfortable run (i.e. 15 of the 20 km), I stood at the commencement of a narrow and frightful road, bound on either side by, well, trucks, tractors and parked cars. The space was only sufficient for one car and a half to pass… as I realized a little later. As I drove carefully, avoiding scrapes on one edge and another, I soon stood behind a stationery car with a driver at the wheel, owner exercising her whip from behind (or sitting passively, I couldn’t say)…. the works. I honked softly (it’s rude to blare). They didn’t notice. He didn’t budge. The space that he’d left on his side was limited. “Can I do it?”, I thought to myself. “Maybe I can. If I’m very very careful.”

I released the clutch very slowly. The car inched forward. “SCREEECH!”

“Uh-oh!” The driver looked out and glared back. I honked loudly, rolled down my glass and screamed “How many times am I supposed to honk!!” He grumbled, confused, and gestured at me to recede a bit. I humbly complied, a perfectly fake expression of disgust upon my visage. He began to move forward, unwillingly. I followed. Soon, he was out of sight and I, having glanced upon my destination, began to seek place to park.

All space on either side was completely consumed. Clearly, the world wanted to tell me that there was no place for me in it. But god opened a door.

Neatly between a scooter and a bike, stood the smallest amount of space that seemed just right. Enough to accept my car and no more. Or so I though.

Could I manage it? In a space so narrow that was “just right and no more”?

I lowered my gaze and looked at the gap fiercely. The sun was in my eyes.

The car “VROOM VROOM”-ed around me. “Shit! Release the clutch a bit more and THEN accelerate!”

The car pulled forward. I edged slowly into the space. And then, god closed the door.

The space wasn’t enough. The back of my car bumped into the scooter, which jumped off its stand and pulled forward into a ditch.

But as said, “when god closes a door, he opens a window.” My window was open! I leaned out and managed to grab hold of the scooter in the nick of time!

With some steady and expert maneuvering, I managed to pull it back and, with a sizeable amount of struggle (not unmatched by that of the seopys of 1857) and lean it against my door, contributing to it another lot of scratches. Having escaped from the other door, I exited the car, acquired on-site knowledge of how to place a scooter on its stand, did the same, returned to the car and, uneventfully, pulled out of the insufficient parking space god had jokingly left for me, and proceeded to find more.

Driving Statistics for Dhruv Khattar for Winter Vacation 2007-08

Total Distance travelled 200 kms (approx)

Total Distance travelled uneventfully 196 kms (estimated)

Total No. of Flat Tyres caused 1

Total Distance Travelled on Flat Tyre 2 kms

Total Time wasted on finding a workshop to

repair the new-technology Tubeless Tyre 1 Hr.

Total Bumps made on the road 2

Total bumps made in the Parking Lot 2

Total No. of random strangers I gave a fright 3

Total Distance driven on a Highway 10 Kms (ambitious)

Total Distance driven on a mountain 3 Kms (ambitious)

Total No. of Times I made Mom gasp 15

Total No. of Times I made Dad gasp 3 (He was reading the paper for most of it)

Final Score 9/10 (Overly Ambitious)

I’m learning

The Subject Of The Matter

Winter Woes

Oh, my blog is a year old now. I had planned quite an event, this time of the year some time ago.

Plans are made to fall flat on their face and make you wonder how well synchronised everything in the world is.

To begin with, I looked forward to these winters most immensely and they somewhat slapped me in the face. It so happens that if one spends many many months learning to keep oneself cool in atrociously hot and sultry tropical weather, one forgets how to keep oneself warm in severly harsh Delhi winters. Thus, I was a bit under the weather not once but twice. Food poisoning or something to that degree threatens to play truant on NY's Eve Tomorrow. I suppose I shall welcome the new year with yet another Tar~t forecast that I shall misplace soon afterwards.
Academic Performance and Results were far below expectations. Yes, it's been a terrible year.

What's new in this world? Another assassination. Was inevitable.
Finally an interesting application on Facebook, after all the nonsense it has churned out. Scrabulous! Most interesting. I'm getting better!
Television continues to remain dull and uneventful. It's as if I've aged 10 years in one and a half.
I watched "The Queen" about 4 times. Loved it immensely. The British accent continues to remain enchanting! I shall endeavor to acquire one soon.

I suppose that should do for now.
Au revoir!